I appreciate your courage and openness in sharing such significant personal material. I have been fortunate enough to heal deep developmental trauma (underlying further trauma from ongoing reenactment as an adult), and the plasticity of the human nervous system never ceases to amaze me. We are similarly plastic in our attachment psychology, and tending to ruptures in relationship (as you describe in this piece) is one of the single most powerful tools in healing attachment wounds. You are doing good work and you would still deserve love, affection, and support even if you had not found a way to begin working with your trauma. Keep at it!